we keep saying someday.

hello, blog. i'd like to introduce my thoughts: they say time flies when you're having fun. time isn't flying, so i guess this period of my life isn't fun. the truth? i want to be miles from nineteen, to be in a place that i cannot currently forecast, and the anticipation's got a knife at my back.

nineteen is an inbetween of childhood and adulthood.

it's the only chance to grow up and learn the world while still holding the hand of your five-year-old tendencies. it's where i stand, stumped at a yearning for regression, yet understanding simultaneously that i'm one two three seconds older with the inevitable continuity of ticking time time time.

acting my age would be much easier if age weren't as elusive as the second hand.

it's a fragile tug of war between head and heart. my mind says grow up. move on, live, learn. my heart says remember. come back, laugh, love. i struggle between what is necessary and what i want: what i should do and what i feel like doing, as if there is no middle ground.

and maybe that's all i'm searching for. a middle ground. this balance between past and future, the one time i feel somewhat sure about who i was and who i want to be, yet still not completely able to define who i am. this? this is an attempt to address the middle-ground complex, to record my progress from inexperience to understanding through observations and irrational emotional outbursts. i want to actually understand the world i live in and not feel three feet tall when i have an opinion. i want to stop tripping over the trivial and the temporal and starting walking with the eternal, to meet some life long goals and maybe help them out a bit without losing the framework my childhood created. kudos to anyone who attempts to follow. i'm hoping i can make the distance.

disclaimer: i'm essentially the epitome of naiveté and a die-hard child at heart.

and by the way, i hate clichés, too. pardon my frequent usage, i'm working on it.

let's have some fun.